Tim Westergren, the founder of Pandora, was denied funding by more than 300 venture capital firms before he convinced a company to back his idea. When he was trying to sell his script—and himself in the lead role—for what would become the film Rocky, Sylvester Stallone was rejected 1,500 times.  He’s glad he persisted; the Rocky films are one of the most successful series ever produced.

Failure is a normal part of life. However, it’s also painful and can engender psychological difficulties. The article explores the psychological impact of failure by discussing emotional responses and self-esteem, the negative effects of failure, and ways to develop a healthy relationship with failure. 

Key Takeaways:

• Failure is common throughout life, so people must learn to embrace failure to grow.

• Failure can foster negative effects that damage a person’s self-esteem, emotional resilience, and ability to embrace future challenges.

• Seeing failures as opportunities is the key to embracing and learning from them. 

• People can nurture a healthy relationship with failure by accepting failure, shifting negative thinking, developing resilience, learning from failure, and keeping a sense of humor.

The Psychological Impact of Failure 

Let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room: failure—at any level—isn’t pleasant. People never set out to fail, which is what makes the 2 opening vignettes powerful. We admire people who persevere through multiple failures and endure extremely difficult times until they turn their setbacks into opportunities. The reality is that failure can produce several types of psychological impact.   

Emotional Responses and Self-Esteem

When faced with failure, individuals often experience a range of emotional responses, such as disappointment, shame, and frustration. These emotions can significantly impact self-esteem and self-confidence, leading to a diminished sense of self-worth and competence.  

Surprisingly, experiencing negative emotions like sadness or frustration may be a better, more productive response than trying to rationalize a failure. A study at the University of Kansas revealed that emotional responses to failure were more effective than rational responses in helping people improve their results when they tried the same task again.

Recent research also provides insights into whether self-esteem changes with age. In one study, older and young adults were affected similarly by successes and failures. Both groups also experienced changes in affect states and self-esteem levels, indicating that these constructs vary and adapt.

Exploring the Possible Negative Impacts of Failure

Even though failure is a very real part of life, it’s never pleasant. We never want to fail, so we are troubled when we do. Here are some of the ways failure affects mental wellness:

• Failure makes achieving the goal seem more difficult. The task really isn’t more difficult, but it seems more difficult because you’ve tried—and failed—to accomplish it.

• Failure makes you misjudge your abilities. After failing at a task, you tend to perceive that you’re less capable than you are.

• Fear of failure can lead you to make excuses or create situations that allow you to justify your failures. For example, say you need to study for a critical exam which you expect to be particularly strenuous. Rather than studying, you spend the evening cleaning your apartment because you’re hosting a party the next evening. If you do poorly on the exam, you can justify the results by saying you needed to clean.

Consistent failure can result in the phenomenon of the"Loser Effect", in which you simply don’t try to accomplish a task or take part in an activity since you believe you will lose at it anyway.  

Nurturing a Healthy Relationship with Failure

Reframing and reimagining failure can mitigate its negative impact on the brain, allowing individuals to bounce back and pursue new endeavors with renewed vigor. The key is to view failures as opportunities for personal growth and keep moving ahead. Several strategies have proven effective in helping people develop a healthy relationship with failure.

Accept the Failure

It happened. You can’t make it “unhappen.” You can, however, accept your failure. When you do, be kind to yourself. Self-compassion, rather than self-accusation, will help you recover the determination to try again.

Shift Your Thinking

Cultivating a growth mindset is one very effective strategy for coping with failure. It requires reframing the experience and setting positive, achievable goals. For example, reframing the experience might mean shifting your thinking from, “That was a complete disaster,” to “I didn’t reach my goal, but here’s one thing I learned (or one thing that went well).” Reframing also helps people overcome the fear of failure and foster the courage to try new endeavors.

Develop Resilience and Perseverance

It’s trite, but true: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. People fail the first time at most things they attempt. Convince yourself that simply giving up is not an option. Revise your plan. Then, go ahead and try again.

Learn from Your Failures

Take a step back and really look at what happened. Did outside factors play an unexpected role? Did you underestimate the difficulty of one part of the task? What changes can you make—going forward—to avoid the pitfalls that tripped you up?

Most people have at least one friend or family member close—and wise—enough to provide valuable feedback. Be brave. Ask their opinion. Mentally digest what you learn. Apply whatever seems to be truly helpful.

Keep a Sense of Humor

Thomas Edison was a master inventor because he kept trying, even when he failed and failed and failed again. Notice the humor in these 2 famous quotes of his.

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

“When you have exhausted all possibilities, remember this - you haven't.”

Keeping a sense of humor helps you avoid some of the serious mental difficulties associated with failure and helps you prepare to move forward.

Conclusions

People fail—often—so embracing failure is critical to personal growth. However, failure can also bring negative effects that extend beyond mere disappointment or sadness and can be detrimental to self-esteem, emotional resilience, and the ability to embrace future challenges.

The key to embracing failure and nurturing a healthy relationship with it is to view failures as opportunities for personal growth and keep moving ahead. Strategies that help include accepting failure, shifting your thinking, developing resilience, learning from your failures, and keeping a sense of humor.

Our professional psychiatrists at Montenegro & Associates Behavioral Health have helped people embrace their failures and turn them into stepping stones for success. We would love to help you do the same. Click here to schedule an appointment with one of our expert psychiatrists.