Helping Children with Oppositional Behaviors
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) is a label often given to children who display oppositional behaviors such as anger, defiance, and resistance to authority figures. However, Black and Latino children are frequently overdiagnosed or misdiagnosed with ODD. The documented inequalities can be explained in part by the biases and stereotypes that healthcare providers hold, as well as the impact of systemic racism and discrimination on the mental health and well-being of Black children and their families.
As a child psychiatrist, I have rarely provided this diagnosis to a child. Instead, I believe in looking at the “function” and “root cause” of these behaviors while also helping the parents gain necessary (and different) parenting skills that are more likely to get “through” these challenging behaviors.
As a parent, managing your child's oppositional behaviors can be challenging and overwhelming. However, with the right strategies and support, you can effectively manage your child's behavior and create a positive and nurturing environment for your family.
When seeking professional help, make sure you approach this by putting together a cohesive treatment team. A psychiatrist can help with diagnosing ADHD if present, which often, when untreated, can worsen ODD. This will usually entail getting help from a therapist (psychologist or masters-level therapist) and a psychiatrist (a medical doctor). Most evidence suggests that one of the most impactful interventions is parent management training (by a certified therapist or psychologist), more so than individual child therapy or medication management alone.
One highly recommended resource for parents of children with oppositional behaviors is the book "The Incredible Years" Written by Dr. Carolyn Webster-Stratton, a clinical child psychologist. This book provides a comprehensive program for parents to improve their child's behavior and build strong parent-child relationships. The program is based on over 30 years of research. It has been proven to be effective in reducing problem behaviors and improving social skills in children with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) and/or ADHD.
Even though your child may not meet the criteria for ODD, some of the strategies below from "The Incredible Years" may help manage your child's oppositional behaviors:
Set clear and consistent rules and expectations for your child. Children with ODD often test boundaries and try to push limits. By setting clear rules and expectations, you can establish a sense of structure and predictability for your child. Be sure to consistently follow through with consequences for breaking the rules.
Use positive reinforcement to encourage good behavior. Children with ODD often receive more attention for negative behavior, which can reinforce that behavior. Instead, try to catch your child being good and give them positive attention and praise for their positive behavior. Use specific and sincere language to describe the behavior you want to encourage.
Use logical and natural consequences. When your child breaks the rules, try to use consequences that are related to the misbehavior. For example, if your child throws a toy, have them clean up the mess they made. This helps your child understand the connection between their actions and the consequences.
Ignore minor misbehaviors. Some misbehaviors, like talking back or refusing to do tasks, can be attention-seeking behaviors. By ignoring these behaviors, you can reduce the reward your child gets from misbehaving. However, be sure to address serious misbehaviors and safety concerns.
Use positive time-out. Time-out can be a useful tool for managing your child's behavior, but it's important to use it in a positive way. Rather than sending your child to a separate room, try sitting together and taking a break until your child is calm. Use this time to teach your child problem-solving skills and positive ways to cope with their emotions.
Seek support. Parenting a child with ODD can be overwhelming and isolating. It's essential to seek support from professionals, such as a therapist or counselor, as well as from friends and family. You may also find support groups for parents of children with ODD helpful.
Managing your child's oppositional behaviors can be challenging, but with the right strategies and support, you can improve your child's behavior and build a stronger parent-child relationship. "The Incredible Years" is a valuable resource for parents looking for evidence-based strategies to manage these difficult behaviors. You can find more information, including resources and certified providers of this program, by visiting the Incredible Years website.
Here are some resources that may be helpful for families with children who have opposition difficulties:
CHADD: The National Resource Center on ADHD
CHADD provides information and resources for families dealing with ADHD and related conditions, including ODD. They offer support groups, webinars, and a directory of ADHD professionals. Their website also has information on parenting strategies, school accommodations, and medication management.
Website: https://chadd.org/
The ODD Lifeline
The ODD Lifeline is a support group for parents of children with ODD. They offer a private online forum, phone support, and a resource library. They also have a directory of mental health professionals who specialize in ODD.
Understood
Understood is a website that provides resources for parents of children with learning and attention issues. They have articles, videos, and webinars on topics related to ODD, including behavior management strategies and working with schools.
Website: https://www.understood.org/en
Child Mind Institute
The Child Mind Institute is a nonprofit organization that provides mental health resources for children and families. They offer articles, webinars, and a parent coaching program. Their website has information on ODD, as well as other conditions that may co-occur with it, such as ADHD and anxiety.
Website: https://childmind.org/
